And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
There's always time for handjobs
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm just crazy horny about you
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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