I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
