nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
too bad you live with your parents still
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
