He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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