I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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