I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
