and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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