This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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