i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I love you. Go after that dick
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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