I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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