I want to have your abortion
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Boobs are out for the taking
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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