I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
