we're blogging at a bar
i just wanna soil my oats bro
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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