He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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