My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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