if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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