so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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