PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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