You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
