Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize