So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
