We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
