Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize