he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I don't deserve a penis
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
