when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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