it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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