if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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