my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize