She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
