i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...