Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
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Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
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I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.