brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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