I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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