Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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