It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.