so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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