It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
