So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
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what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
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i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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