so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
