Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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