I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
