My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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