It's Friday. Sex?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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