omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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