Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
