He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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