My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize