i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
