420 ftw
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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