I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize