how do flat chested girls get laid?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
