you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
