there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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