I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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