I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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