Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
there is puke in my bra ... again
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
