Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize