hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Michael Bay diarrhea
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize