Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You dont lie about slip and slides
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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