I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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