I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
