Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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