Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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