New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
